Words and Music by : Mike Cross
A Scotsman in a kilt, he left the bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by the way he walked, he'd drunk more than his share.
He staggered off until he could no longer keep his feet,
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
(Repeat last line of previous verse)
Later on two young and lovely ladies happened by.
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye,
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built,
"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt."
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be,
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there, behold for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
They marveled for a moment, then one said, "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow.
Around the bonny star the Scotsmans kilt did lift and show.
Well,the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees.
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes,
"Oh, lad I don't know where ye've been but I see ye've won first prize."