A Mother's Lament

Words by: Lady Fiona the Prepared
Tune of: All Around My Hat

From now until forever I just won't understand,
how my sweet and darling daughter got so far out of hand.
When my neighbors point their finger I shrug what can I say?
My sweet and darling daughter has joined the SCA.

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                And all around her house I find rapiers and broadswords
                there's bag-pipe music playing every hour of the day,
                and if anyone should ask me has the girl gone crazy?
                I shake my head and tell them she's joined the SCA.

I suppose that it is my fault her life was such a bore
I told her get a hobby and try to get out more.
I thought she'd take up painting ceramics or crochet.
But no she had to go out and join the SCA.

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She's going off the deep end what more proof do I need?
There's Scotsmen in the kitchen they're brewing ale and mead.
I tried to set her up with the chairman of the board,
she said no thanks I'm dating a member of the horde.

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She says her name is Elspeth from the fourteenth century,
her armor's in the foyer she fights with fiendish glee.
I'm trying hard to figure out just where that I went wrong,
while she's pounding on her dumbek and singing bawdy songs.

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Now she's fletching with the Welshmen and fencing with the Norse.
She's into eastern dancing, but wait it just gets worse.
She took down her diploma to hang her AOA,
her life's gone topsy turvy since she joined the SCA

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Now normal folks have one name but SCAdians have two
I have to keep a score card to tell me who is who,
and persona names drive me crazy when I have to write them down.
Can't one of you just pick a name that's spelled like it sounds?

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When living in the real world she never wears a dress,
but dressing up in court garb, she rivals Good Queen Bess.
In twenty tubs of tupperwear her tons of garb she stores.
From glorious jeweled court garb for that of dockside...well.

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When daughters take vacations and their moms stay at home,
they like to brag to neighbors how far and wide she'll roam.
For her no sunny beaches on a Caribbean shore,
she grabs her sword and armour and heads for Pennsic War.

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