Clement of Morroco, Guildmaster of the Rhydderich Hael Cook's Guild, ran a doggerel contest. It had to be bad poetry, involve cooking, hopefully involve the SCA or the medieval period, and last but not least, be funny. I told him each verse could be considered a separate entry. I won for the overall song.
-- Dagonell

Clement's Doggerel Contest

Words by : Dagonell the Juggler
Tune of: "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"

A centipede's meat is quite tasty,
But the darn little critter's so small,
So I spliced in some genes from an ostrich,
And now I've got drumsticks for all!

                Chorus:
                Big feasts, big feasts,
                Clement is cooking, again, again.
                Big feasts, big feasts,
                Clement is cooking again.

She's never been much of a feast-crat,
Her method of cooking's unique,
We complain when she burns meat to charcoal,
But she says it's a period technique.

                Chorus

We told him the King likes his cooking,
It really did make his whole day,
But "King" is a black lab retriever,
And that part we never did say!

                Chorus

Now Caleb made batches of brownies,
But he stole half from poor Dagonell,
But Caleb's half was "dis-joint-ed",
And "Dags" said the brownies were swell!

                Chorus

He's gotten a Knighthood for cooking,
He got it right there on the field,
Now we won't say his flatbread ain't tasty,
But the East King now has a new shield.

                Chorus

Our favorite feast-master is Clement,
He really loves making the rounds,
He loves feasting as much as the cooking,
When he joined he weighed ninety-eight pounds.

                Chorus