The Chemists's Drinking Song

Words by : John A. Carroll (inspired by Isaac Asimov)
Tune of : The Irish Washerwoman

Sodium citrate, ammonium cyanide,
Mix 'em together and add some benzene,
And top off the punch with trichloroethylene.

Got gassed up last night with some furfuryl alcohol,
Followed it up with a gallon of propanol,
Tanked up on hydrazine 'til after noon,
Then spit on the floor and blew up the saloon.

Powdered aluminum, nitrogen iodide,
Chlorates, permanganates, nitrates galore,
Just swallow one drink and you'll never need more.

Whiskey, tequila, and rum are too tame.
No, the stuff that I drink must explode into flame,
When I breathe and dissolve all the paint in the room,
And rattle the walls in a ground-shaking boom.

Go soak your head in a good strong insecticide,
Slosh it around and impregnate your brain,
With dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane.

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