Baron of the Rhydderich Hael

Words by : Dagonell the Juggler
                      (Alternate chorus by Daniel Moorholm)
Tune of : Cover of the Rolling Stone by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show

Well, I'm a royal official,
Got awards by the bushel,
And I'm loved everywhere I go.
I give advice to kings,
And I flirt with all the queens,
And there's not a peer I don't know.
I got all kinda scrolls,
Answer all kinda polls,
But the honors all seem to pale...
Against the shock that'll hit-cha,
When you see my pic-cha
As THE BARON OF THE RHYDDERICH HAEL

                Chorus:
                RHYDDERICH HAEL! Gonna hold a feast for sword brothers.
                RHYDDERICH HAEL! Gonna make English Tudor for my mother.
                RHYDDERICH HAEL! Gonna see my smilin' face
                AS THE BARON OF THE RHYDDERICH HAEL!

There's a Laurel for garb,
Her name is Barb,
She embroiders all my clothes.
I got six trunks full of jewelry,
And two that are just for hose.
I've got all the garb a king could want,
But I'd trade everything that I own,
Except the seat of my pants,
For a solitary chance,
To place it on the Hael throne!

                Chorus
I gotta lotta little groupies,
In bunny fur bikinis,
Who'll do anything I say.
They know that I'm a genuine guru,
'Cause I'm teaching them the S-C-A.
I got all the perks a peer could want,
Including free brewer's ale.
But I'm mad as a hornet,
'Cause I can't get the cor'net,
OF THE BARON OF THE RHYDDERICH HAEL!

                Alternate Chorus:
                RHYDDERICH HAEL! Gonna hold a feast for sword brothers.
                RHYDDERICH HAEL! Gonna make English Tudor for my mother.
                RHYDDERICH HAEL! Wanta wear the coronet of
                THE BARON OF THE RHYDDERICH HAEL!

(Spoken:)
I can see that coronet now, six points and shinin'.
Awww, beautiful!