Clement of Morroco, Guildmaster of the Rhydderich Hael Cook's Guild, ran a
doggerel contest. It had to be bad poetry, involve cooking, hopefully involve
the SCA or the medieval period, and last but not least, be funny. I told him
each verse could be considered a separate entry. I won for the overall song.
-- Dagonell
Clement's Doggerel Contest
Words by : Dagonell the Juggler
Tune of: "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"
A centipede's meat is quite tasty,
But the darn little critter's so small,
So I spliced in some genes from an ostrich,
And now I've got drumsticks for all!
Chorus:
Big feasts, big feasts,
Clement is cooking, again, again.
Big feasts, big feasts,
Clement is cooking again.
She's never been much of a feast-crat,
Her method of cooking's unique,
We complain when she burns meat to charcoal,
But she says it's a period technique.
Chorus
We told him the King likes his cooking,
It really did make his whole day,
But "King" is a black lab retriever,
And that part we never did say!
Chorus
Now Caleb made batches of brownies,
But he stole half from poor Dagonell,
But Caleb's half was "dis-joint-ed",
And "Dags" said the brownies were swell!
Chorus
He's gotten a Knighthood for cooking,
He got it right there on the field,
Now we won't say his flatbread ain't tasty,
But the East King now has a new shield.
Chorus
Our favorite feast-master is Clement,
He really loves making the rounds,
He loves feasting as much as the cooking,
When he joined he weighed ninety-eight pounds.
Chorus
to Bard Book.
to Dagonell's Page.
to David's Homepage.